I’M THINKING
By a young man at CSTC
Friends are on my mind
I’m worried about them
They’re in a bad place
She wasn’t doing too well
She was having a rough time
She’s been having a rough life
Her anger gets out of whack like a
Hot boiling pot of water
It makes me feel blue
There’s nothing I can do
Makes me down like I’m
Drowning in my own depression
Then I feel weak
I start to crumble like a cookie
I can’t shake it
It makes me not want to talk to people
Reclusive
Hidden away in a dark corner
I think about things getting better
My mind clear of all my problems
I’d want to go outside and swing and think
Think that things do get better
This poem is a result of a session I experienced with a youth who had first come into our Pongo class several weeks earlier. That first day, he joined the group session for a few minutes (with his headphones in, pretending he wasn’t into it) but then had become agitated over something unrelated to our class and had left the group angry and acting out. When he came back to Pongo a few weeks later, smiling and ready to try writing poetry, I was really happy that we could give it another shot. We began as he spoke about his concern for his friends in general, then about a particular friend. As he moved through his thoughts, he began to surface his own feelings. I was so proud of him when he offered the line, “I start to crumble like a cookie” — this big, tough-acting boy was being so bravely vulnerable. After he wrote and read this poem, he said he felt good and proud of himself. I felt so proud of him, too.
-- Natalie, mentor at CSTC