Teen Poetry Collections

Lost Girl

by a young woman, age 15

My mom and I were kicked out by our family members when I was twelve
We stayed at shelters around the U-district, the C.D., and Capitol Hill
That’s when I started to hang out with older kids
And they started showing me that street life
They wanted me to try things and I wanted to fit in
That’s when I started hanging around downtown
Just high as hell
My mom will baby me
She lets me get away with things
I would storm out of the room
Leave and get high
I felt like I was free
Like I could do anything
When I was fourteen I lost my virginity
And of course like all girls
I “fell in love”
We moved back into an apartment
My brothers moved in but they are alcoholics
I tamed myself down and tried to get sober
But with them around it was so stressful
All I wanted to do was use
It was too much for my mom and I to handle
I would isolate myself
Escape from all the bullshit in life
I would blast my music to drown out the sound
Of the fighting
The yelling
And hearing things break
At one point I relapsed
My boyfriend was a manipulative bastard
And he made me feel bad about myself
I moved to my uncle’s to try and get sober
But I brought dope with me
And that’s when things started to unravel
I would get high with my cousins
And pop pills
We’d stay out late and drink
Stay up all night
Then something happened
That’s all I’m gonna say
It left me scarred
And I was sent back to my mom’s
Walking back to that apartment
All I felt was shame
Shame because I let it happen
I kept drinking and staying out late
My boyfriend didn’t like that
So I chose the drugs and alcohol over him
I moved out
Moved to a shelter
And became a street kid
I was enrolled in an alternative school in the U-District
That’s when I met a guy
We went on a three-and-a-half week binge with our homies and his brother
I didn’t sleep
And I didn’t eat
I lost a ton of weight from the drugs
I looked horrible
I couldn’t look in the mirror
Because I would go into a trance and see things that weren’t there
I glanced at myself
The bags under my eyes
The outlines of my bones
It wasn’t me
At the moment it seemed fun
But looking back it wasn’t worth it
I had promised myself and everyone I wouldn’t use
I guess I just didn’t care anymore
I lie to myself and think it’s fun
Think it’s worth it
But it’s not.