Teen Poetry Collections

Killing Me Inside

by a young woman in detention

Why this?
Why that?

I’m turning 18 and my brother’s not here.
This is the first birthday that he’s missed.

It’s killing me inside.
It makes me really sad that
he doesn’t get to see me turn 18.

There was days where me and him were doing
grown up things—
smoking weed,
buying Swisher sweets—
and now I’m finally 18
and now I can finally do
those grown-up things legally
but I’m scared that he’s not here
to take care of me.

There’s a hole in my heart.
Without him, being 18:
I don’t know where to start.

Me and my brother were so close
He was half of my heart and I was the other half
Now my other half is gone.

I feel really alone
Now that he’s not home—
Not in his apartment, with his daughter,
Stopping by our house to say Hi.

There’s nobody to talk to about my deepest problems—
relationships, being treated unfairly—
I used to talk to him about anything.

Now I don’t know
who I can trust with everything.