Letter After A Timeby Sarah (age 16)
Here's a story I never told you.
I jumped into a gang when I was 13
and started doing drugs as well.
I regret everything I ever did wrong
(especially the things I just listed),
and I wish I could take it all back.
Here's what's new.
Your dad died about eight months after you.
My homegirl Kasi committed suicide. I did five
armed robberies, got charged with two,
and got three and a half years. I'm locked up
for at least two years more. I miss the hell out of you
and think of you every day.
Just last night
I was thinkin' about everyone who's died in my life.
I think about what it would be like if you were still alive.
I know I wouldn't be here, and I probably would
never have done drugs.
When I dream sometimes
I imagine seeing you, lying in the bathtub, relaxed,
comfortable, content, and ready for a conversation.
to look ahead to the future, to think about who else
is gonna die (including myself) and how I'm gonna
be able to handle it. I also wonder if I'll ever be as
happy (again) as I was when you were alive.