Teen Poetry Collections

Handcuffs

by a young man, age 17

’m a drug addict
It controls you, your life
I’m struggling right now trying to get off it
It’s painful
Lonely dark nights
Struggles with staying well,
finding shelter
Who’s your real friend, who’s not?
Why do I keep on hurting the people I love so much,
family?
I steal from my mom just to get high
rob my little sister
all these things,
but in here
they’re the only ones that are there for me

I feel stuck on auto-pilot –
It controls me, I get tunnel vision:
Mission to get high, don’t care what’s going on around me,
like people getting hurt
people I steal from
whose house I broke into
getting bad name
cops arresting me outside my house
people talking about me doing drugs all the time
not a good influence on neighbors, kids at school
My girlfriend’s parents hate me

Why can’t I quit?
How do I stop?
I’ve been to rehab four times,
but meth and heroin still take over me
I feel like drug addiction has me in handcuffs –
There has to be someone with a key to get me out

How do I make up for the things that I’ve done?
I want to do right, go back to being a normal kid
be in school again, having family
having a mom and dad that aren’t always yelling at me for doing bad
family dinners, going to church,
somebody to just tell me I am doing good,
that I am doing good with all the struggle I’ve been through,
somebody to just tell me to keep my head up
that understands that it’s not easy to go through
what I’m going though
Old friends, kids I used to have fun with, faded away
Now I‘m stuck in a cell
I feel like nobody cares,
nobody wants to make my bail
I feel like the boy who cried wolf –
I keep saying I’m going to do better,
but the drugs just keep coming back
It’s like they got stronger while I‘ve been in here

Will there be a day when I can finally be free,
Not just free of jail, but free of this demon inside me?