A Gaining Lossby a young woman, age 16
Before, I was only thinking about myself.
When I ended up seeing a positive pregnancy,
I had to think about that child’s life.
And it made me think of all the lives I have done wrong to in the past.
I didn’t want to ruin this child’s life.
I have hurt so many people
And associated myself in the wrong circles.
I didn’t want my child to see their mother as a cold-hearted person,
I just wanted to give the child the best life I possibly could.
And being only sixteen
I knew I could only give half of that.
I kind of felt like a plant,
Like a flower,
With No nutrients,
Feeling lost and stuck in a dark cave.
When I found out I lost that baby,
I felt like I had been crushed
By a boulder.
It made me think about the father,
It made me realize I didn’t want to have a family with someone like him.
I realized I didn’t even trust him.
It reminded me of Snow White.
At first she trusted the lady with the apple,
But instead she was sitting on a throne of lies.
I thought I needed this baby to have a purpose in life,
But with all these things coming to the surface
I am seeing so many opportunities for myself.
There are so many possibilities
And aspects I have never explored,
So many things I know I can fulfill in life that I had never thought of before.
It feels a little overwhelming.
I never really thought of myself as being able to be anything,
Just thought I would end up being a typical housewife,
Stuck at home cleaning up after people.
I have hope in myself now,
I have purpose,
And I know I can be someone
Dedicated to the miracle child, my little brother